Male or Female?

Many languages refer to everyday objects as either male or female. Wouldn’t English be more interesting and versatile if we did, too? These suggestions are from the Washington Post, which asked readers to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.  Here are some of the best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it…and, of course, there’s the hot air part.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female…Ha!…you thought I’d say male. But consider, it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

One Response to Male or Female?

  1. Sanne says:

    Hej Bjarne
    Helle for at være en fjernebetjening haha
    Hav en smuk uge
    Kh
    Sanne

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